Terrific Jim. Loved the hell out of this. You nailed it, everything, and I know exactly what you were talking about. This line right here, said it all to me. "Maybe all of this just looked better from a distance." Just a great job of writing. - Jim
You got me at "meth teeth", that jumped out at me and really showcased the flavor of the story. Not that Wayne/Dwayne was a meth head, but to be aware of society and its ups and downs, and the interconnection between mailmen, wives who want to improve their swing, and the beauty of the gulf. Now you've made we want to visit...nicely done, Mr. Jim.
Thought this was epic, Jim. The bull, Dwayne, Jimmy, Mr Swindler(!), the wives; it was too much--fun! Especially liked the name confusions! A great take away on cerulean blue. Thanks Jim
Thank you Ron. I always appreciate your very kind comments. I'm very good with name confusions, if I do say so myself. Hope you and family are enjoying a wonderful summer.
So much to like about this story, Jim, the humor and irony from Jimmy's directions to mistaken names to Dwayne's realization that appearances can be deceiving. A satisfying ending to boot. I could relate to Dwayne's struggles with the name of the tree.
Loved this, Jim. The way you layered the drama of Dwayne's wife and the mailman, and the bull killing the rotweiler, and the reflection of Dwayne's story in Swinder's. I especially loved the Angus bull, because I had one once, and he was almost a pet. He'd follow me along the fence line and talk to me, and I was the only one who could lure him to wherever we wanted him. I miss that bull.
Thank you, Virginia for the thoughtful comments. I can't believe you actually owned an Angus bull! When I went searching for a picture of a bull, this one caught my eye. He looks like a real badass does he not? I found him on an agricultural website and didn't have any way to attribute it to a photographer. Thanks again for reading and your great comments.
Fantastic story, Jim. The characters, the setting... the bull. I loved everything about it. There's a perfect balance of humor and sadness. Yeah, love the mullet!
Thank you, Martine. Love your comments, always. Yeah, the mullet--I don't know if anyone else picked-up on that little throwaway line. A while ago, I commented to Jim Wilsky that I like to believe that the guy in Walmart, still rocking the mullet, has an interesting story. That got me to thinking about the character who became Dwayne. Thank you again for reading and commenting.
I also wanted to say something about the Olive Garden that might come to town... that sounded so familiar :) - In this small East Texas town, it's the kind of gossip that makes the round. Yeah, we gonna get a Chili's or something like that... wishful thinking!
The bull, the mailman, and the pro golfer. Who would've thought those three might have something in common? Yet they do, and it's lechery! The cynical musings and hilarious mishaps of the home improvement contractor who takes us along through the story make it both believable and ridiculous. Had to read it twice to soak in all the humor. What a great read👍
Haha, yes, Lechery, the common denominator in this story! I'm glad you liked it, Jim and saw the humor as well as the sadness. I always appreciate your thoughtful comments. Thank you.
Thanks so much Rebecca. That is so nice to hear. I had back-burnered this story for a while because I wasn't sure about it but last night I cracked a beer, put on the country station, did a little tweaking and pushed the post button. So glad you enjoyed it.
Dwayne floats over the West Florida theatrics like a tormented Hieronymus Bosch spirit. Love the image of building a room made of net (or screen). Lots of great imagery. Well done Jim. And yeah, bring back the mullet.
Thank you, Helen. Love the Bosch reference. Dwayne is definitely formed in the "Impasto" mold but his goodness shines through the brushstrokes. No mullets allowed in this household but the beard is getting longer.
Breathtakingly brilliant, Jim. The description of Mrs Swinder getting out of the car reminded me of Barbara Stanwick coming down the stairs in Double Indemnity. The bull made me laugh. A very satisfying last line. I have a book of hardboiled short stories, and the style reminded me of one or two of them. When you gonna Collate all these into a self-published book to flog on Amazon?
Thank you Sir Terry. It's a bit of a longer read than most people have time for so I'm grateful that you and so many others have made the effort. I always appreciate your comments. As for self-publishing, I wouldn't rule it out but it seems like a lot of work for this unambitious and easily distracted retiree. Thanks again, my friend.
What a wonderful character you have developed here, Jim. I would look forward to reading a book about Dwayne -- drink a beer with him every night, hear about his work day. Intelligent and perceptive, his wonderful "lists" give us a view of the breadth and depth of what he has learned in his life. His observations clearly show his morality. Of the fifteen writers I read here on Substack, only Jim Cummings could draw us into the work life of a screenman and keep us engaged up to the last word. Hell of a story, if you ask me.
PS. "I was halfway down the sand when I noticed that the water didn’t look the same. "
I was moved by his change of perception here, of the cerulean blue turning to "silver pine, slate, gulf gray". I have experienced this kind of learning myself...
Wow, thanks Sharron. I'm glad that one of your takeaways was the basic morality of Dwayne the screen man and other people like him that lead quiet but earnest lives. I'm happy that you found the story engaging. I think this story has put me in the lead for the longest sentence on Substack for the month of July, although there are still a few days left.
Kidding aside, I always appreciate your thoughtful and generous comments.
Terrific Jim. Loved the hell out of this. You nailed it, everything, and I know exactly what you were talking about. This line right here, said it all to me. "Maybe all of this just looked better from a distance." Just a great job of writing. - Jim
Thanks Jimbo. I appreciate the high praise. You're right, many things look better from a distance.
You got me at "meth teeth", that jumped out at me and really showcased the flavor of the story. Not that Wayne/Dwayne was a meth head, but to be aware of society and its ups and downs, and the interconnection between mailmen, wives who want to improve their swing, and the beauty of the gulf. Now you've made we want to visit...nicely done, Mr. Jim.
Thank you Victor, I'm always happy to hear your comments. Appreciate you, my friend.
Thought this was epic, Jim. The bull, Dwayne, Jimmy, Mr Swindler(!), the wives; it was too much--fun! Especially liked the name confusions! A great take away on cerulean blue. Thanks Jim
Thank you Ron. I always appreciate your very kind comments. I'm very good with name confusions, if I do say so myself. Hope you and family are enjoying a wonderful summer.
So much to like about this story, Jim, the humor and irony from Jimmy's directions to mistaken names to Dwayne's realization that appearances can be deceiving. A satisfying ending to boot. I could relate to Dwayne's struggles with the name of the tree.
Thank you, KC. I'm glad you liked it. Your kind comments are always appreciated.
Loved this, Jim. The way you layered the drama of Dwayne's wife and the mailman, and the bull killing the rotweiler, and the reflection of Dwayne's story in Swinder's. I especially loved the Angus bull, because I had one once, and he was almost a pet. He'd follow me along the fence line and talk to me, and I was the only one who could lure him to wherever we wanted him. I miss that bull.
Thank you, Virginia for the thoughtful comments. I can't believe you actually owned an Angus bull! When I went searching for a picture of a bull, this one caught my eye. He looks like a real badass does he not? I found him on an agricultural website and didn't have any way to attribute it to a photographer. Thanks again for reading and your great comments.
He definitely looks badass. That scowl!
Fantastic story! Dwayne is cool as mile-long ice and he and Bronto are going to be ok.
"Cool as mile-long ice." I love it. And yes, Dwayne and Bronto will be great. Thank you for reading and commenting, Liz.
Fantastic story, Jim. The characters, the setting... the bull. I loved everything about it. There's a perfect balance of humor and sadness. Yeah, love the mullet!
Thank you, Martine. Love your comments, always. Yeah, the mullet--I don't know if anyone else picked-up on that little throwaway line. A while ago, I commented to Jim Wilsky that I like to believe that the guy in Walmart, still rocking the mullet, has an interesting story. That got me to thinking about the character who became Dwayne. Thank you again for reading and commenting.
I also wanted to say something about the Olive Garden that might come to town... that sounded so familiar :) - In this small East Texas town, it's the kind of gossip that makes the round. Yeah, we gonna get a Chili's or something like that... wishful thinking!
The bull, the mailman, and the pro golfer. Who would've thought those three might have something in common? Yet they do, and it's lechery! The cynical musings and hilarious mishaps of the home improvement contractor who takes us along through the story make it both believable and ridiculous. Had to read it twice to soak in all the humor. What a great read👍
Haha, yes, Lechery, the common denominator in this story! I'm glad you liked it, Jim and saw the humor as well as the sadness. I always appreciate your thoughtful comments. Thank you.
Incredible character studies. I feel like I know all of these people well.
Thanks man. I really kind of liked ol' Dwayne. Appreciate your comments always.
Brilliant writing! Had me smiling from the first sentence to THE END.
Thanks so much Rebecca. That is so nice to hear. I had back-burnered this story for a while because I wasn't sure about it but last night I cracked a beer, put on the country station, did a little tweaking and pushed the post button. So glad you enjoyed it.
You done good! Keep cracking those beers and writing. This struck home in so many ways, FL, the bull, the whole scene. LMAO.
Enjoyed this immensely...Made the whole week.
Your comment made MY whole week, BC3. I really appreciate it. Thanks for reading.
Dwayne floats over the West Florida theatrics like a tormented Hieronymus Bosch spirit. Love the image of building a room made of net (or screen). Lots of great imagery. Well done Jim. And yeah, bring back the mullet.
Thank you, Helen. Love the Bosch reference. Dwayne is definitely formed in the "Impasto" mold but his goodness shines through the brushstrokes. No mullets allowed in this household but the beard is getting longer.
Breathtakingly brilliant, Jim. The description of Mrs Swinder getting out of the car reminded me of Barbara Stanwick coming down the stairs in Double Indemnity. The bull made me laugh. A very satisfying last line. I have a book of hardboiled short stories, and the style reminded me of one or two of them. When you gonna Collate all these into a self-published book to flog on Amazon?
Thank you Sir Terry. It's a bit of a longer read than most people have time for so I'm grateful that you and so many others have made the effort. I always appreciate your comments. As for self-publishing, I wouldn't rule it out but it seems like a lot of work for this unambitious and easily distracted retiree. Thanks again, my friend.
Ah, tis a shame, but I totally get it.
"Love the mullet!” LOL. Terrific, Jim! Such a cool story. And I really like the details. Wow - well done.
Thanks cowboy. Glad you liked it. Appreciate the enthusiastic comment!
What a wonderful character you have developed here, Jim. I would look forward to reading a book about Dwayne -- drink a beer with him every night, hear about his work day. Intelligent and perceptive, his wonderful "lists" give us a view of the breadth and depth of what he has learned in his life. His observations clearly show his morality. Of the fifteen writers I read here on Substack, only Jim Cummings could draw us into the work life of a screenman and keep us engaged up to the last word. Hell of a story, if you ask me.
PS. "I was halfway down the sand when I noticed that the water didn’t look the same. "
I was moved by his change of perception here, of the cerulean blue turning to "silver pine, slate, gulf gray". I have experienced this kind of learning myself...
Yes, Things are not always as they originally seem.
Wow, thanks Sharron. I'm glad that one of your takeaways was the basic morality of Dwayne the screen man and other people like him that lead quiet but earnest lives. I'm happy that you found the story engaging. I think this story has put me in the lead for the longest sentence on Substack for the month of July, although there are still a few days left.
Kidding aside, I always appreciate your thoughtful and generous comments.