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Sharron Bassano's avatar

"Ok, I don’t want to be the guy she recognizes." Tragic. He doesn't want to be "that" guy anymore. The agony of staying clean is giving up all your old "friends". ALL of them. Because they want to bring that guy right back. How you can characterize that whole sad story just perfectly with nothing but text and f***g emojis is beyond me!

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Thank you Sharron. I think you picked-up on the "turning point" line in this. I agree with your "friends" comment. People who have dug themselves a deep hole always want company. Always appreciate your comments!

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Terry Freedman's avatar

Jim can do it cos he is a master story teller.

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Terry Freedman's avatar

agree. That was a great line

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just mud by Ron's avatar

Jim, had to go back and read your intro, the poem. Kudos. What you described in Blue Sky, by way of personality, then unpackaged that reality in those powerful bites of text and thought. Then the conflict in the struggle to change gears in a life. Leaves an impact.

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Jim Cummings's avatar

I like "the conflict in the struggle to change gears in a life."

Exactly my friend. We need to support those who have decided to rejoin the world.

Thanks for the thoughtful review.

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just mud by Ron's avatar

Absolutely

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Very impressive use of text and style, Jim. Carried me through it with ease.

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Thank you Nathan. Happy you liked it.

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

Excellent

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Thank you for the excellent comment!

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James Ron's avatar

Very good, Jim! - I like "Those are tough questions. Ok, no and no." and "I don’t want to be the guy she recognizes." : )

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Thanks James. Glad you liked it. Appreciate your comment always.

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Justin Deming's avatar

This is brilliant, Jim. What a cleverly told tale, complete with emojis and all! I loved it.

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Thank you Justin. Just trying to keep up with you kids, Haha.

Always appreciate your comments.

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Terry Freedman's avatar

Very interesting, Jim. Loved the format. Love the hint (I think) of a pop group called Shocking Blue (Venus). I will need to re-read it because I'm sure I've missed other subtleties. Well done for experimenting.

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Jim Cummings's avatar

That was a happy accident that I didn't think anyone would ever put together. I had pictured her with blue hair and wanted to convey that without saying it. My original version said something like "her hair could be another jarring color by now" Then the word shocking came to mind and it dawned on me "Shocking Blue." Never a big fan but it served it's purpose! Good on you Terry. I don't think there are any other subtleties in there.

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Terry Freedman's avatar

😊👍

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Victor D. Sandiego's avatar

Now that was diff and quite interesting and filled with many subtle undercurrents of joy, dread, and anguish. Have I ever not been lit?

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Says the master. Thank you Victor.

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Thanks K.C. It's a subject that is thankfully outside of my experience but I can relate it to quitting smoking. There is always a "friend" offering you a cigarette. Thanks for the comment, my friend.

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K.C. Knouse's avatar

Very realistic, Jim. The main character practiced one of the main principles of recovery: honesty, especially with himself. This had to be a strong trigger with only 2 months clean time. I hope he called his sponsor immediately afterward. The mixture of short text messages and the MC's abbreviated reactions was creative and effective. Another winner, Jim.

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