This is a superb tale, Jim. So imaginative. You wrote a very distinct difference between Fagan's and Bobbie's voice and then blurred them seamlessly. Stories of brutality and the mentally deranged are never my choice in subject matter, and I would not have read this if I didn't know what art Jim Cummings is capable of. Glad I did! Chilling! What a mind you have.
Thank you Sharron. I know this was a rough one. It was kind of an experiment in working toward a soft reveal--one where the reader has it dawn on them somewhere in the course of the story.
Terrific. I've always believed two things about the human brain. One, we will never fully, fully understand how it functions. 300 years from now they'll still be studying it. Two, it can be the scariest, most horrifying thing in this world. By far. Nothing even comes close. Really enjoyed this, Jim.
Thank you Jim, I agree that the human mind is still largely a mystery. Thank you for reading and commenting, as always. Not everyone enjoyed the story. I woke up this morning to two cancelled subs but I get it.
To Jim's unsubscribers: please consider re-subscribing.
It may not be apparent, but no men, women, children, or animals were actually harmed in the making of this strong piece of fiction. Nor does the work advocate for violence against the aforementioned.
This is fiction—which is relatively tame compared to the horrific occurrences currently taking place on this planet.
It could also be a contemporary re-imagining of Robert Louis Stevenson's "Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde."
Yes, Steve. World reality is scarier by far than fiction these days. Is it any wonder people spend hours and hours scrolling through the worlds of video games and YouTube cats and street dancers to escape it ..?
We just have to let them go and wish them well. There are a bazillion writers to choose from - someone for everyone. We can't take it personally. I think if we try to write for everybody, we will make ourselves insane, and lose our own voice in the process.
Well, you're more understanding than I am because I don't get it. Just don't understand that, but then I don't understand a lot of things these days. Instead of unsubscribing, that story would make me subscribe, if I wasn't already. Have a good rest of the day. - Jim
Thank you Rad. I always appreciate your comments. Glad you liked it. I know some people found it a bit too rough and callous and that's understandable but that's how I picture the mind of a psychopath.
Hey Jim, running late here! Just finished the read; didn't EVEN see that coming! Honestly, you put us right in the back seat and I was wondering if I could get the back door unlocked! That was intense, great job! (my wife can handle those dark characters better than I!)
Thanks for sticking with it Ron. Appreciate the comment. Yes, some people liked it and some (3) voted with their feet! Anyway, something lighter on the way, my friend. Thanks again.
Whoa, that was superb compelling read, Jim. I was just kind of flipping around, flying with the crazy, the repetition, the poetic, not needing to go look for sense because it was right there pounding on my brain pan. You brought the sense of irrationality right up to the front door, all clear eyed and mad, distinct, wild, and then the two melded in an explosion of poison clouds you sprayed so beautifully.
Wow. This was just amazing. What happened to split Bobby and Fagen? Or was Bobby always damaged? This was a superb tale of madness, desolation, and the loss of control. Poor Lucy!
Thank you Liz. I think Bobby was gradually taken over by his alter ego, Fagen and was plotting to end the evil through the course of this story. I truly appreciate your comments.
Blimey, Jim. It's frightening to think what goes on in that brain of yours. Masterfully executed. And I know it's done well because although I don't like dark fiction I always read yours. It makes me think. The people in this story reminded me of the sociopaths in In Cold Blood, and to an extent The Clockwork Orange. So, keep up the good work and keep taking the tablets!
Thank you so much, Terry. Just to set your mind at ease, I will tell you that I love puppies and kittens and never kill spiders. I really like your comparison to the brutal sociopathy of In Cold Blood, a story I will never forget, so well told by Truman Capote. I was also going for an a-ha kind of revelation as in Sixth Sense or Fight Club.
Thank you for your comments. I must now take my meds, have my wife barricade the door from the outside and go to bed.
Talking to Bobby in the mirror. That should have tipped me off. But it was the scar. Wait that scar was on Fagan's face; now Bobby sees it on his. Oh yeah. You're teaching me to be a detective, Jim. You plant these clues throughout the story, then bring them together for a horrendous ending. You are a true word craftsman. The repetition of "fast, fast, fast" and the pace of the narrative were effective in conveying the desperation that eventually led to Bobby's demise. This story was worth waiting for.
This is a superb tale, Jim. So imaginative. You wrote a very distinct difference between Fagan's and Bobbie's voice and then blurred them seamlessly. Stories of brutality and the mentally deranged are never my choice in subject matter, and I would not have read this if I didn't know what art Jim Cummings is capable of. Glad I did! Chilling! What a mind you have.
Thank you Sharron. I know this was a rough one. It was kind of an experiment in working toward a soft reveal--one where the reader has it dawn on them somewhere in the course of the story.
You nailed it, my friend.
PS. I met James Ron last week! He came to Santa Cruz. He is as interesting as the characters in his stories.
No way! That’s so cool. I want to hear more about it.
Terrific. I've always believed two things about the human brain. One, we will never fully, fully understand how it functions. 300 years from now they'll still be studying it. Two, it can be the scariest, most horrifying thing in this world. By far. Nothing even comes close. Really enjoyed this, Jim.
Thank you Jim, I agree that the human mind is still largely a mystery. Thank you for reading and commenting, as always. Not everyone enjoyed the story. I woke up this morning to two cancelled subs but I get it.
To Jim's unsubscribers: please consider re-subscribing.
It may not be apparent, but no men, women, children, or animals were actually harmed in the making of this strong piece of fiction. Nor does the work advocate for violence against the aforementioned.
This is fiction—which is relatively tame compared to the horrific occurrences currently taking place on this planet.
It could also be a contemporary re-imagining of Robert Louis Stevenson's "Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde."
Thank you Steve. As Yogi Berra said, "If the people don't want to come out, there's no way you can stop them." I appreciate your support. as always.
You are most welcome, Jim.
I totally agree with you and Yogi, as I'm a "free market" kinda guy.
Except for maybe taxes—we are all free to unsub from anything, at any time.
Bottom line?
Please don't self-censor and change what you're writing/ publishing for fear of generating unsubs.
Yes, Steve. World reality is scarier by far than fiction these days. Is it any wonder people spend hours and hours scrolling through the worlds of video games and YouTube cats and street dancers to escape it ..?
Feel that, Sharon.
Yet, those who unsubscribe from those who might just save the very world from which they attempt to escape is kinda kooky, no?
We just have to let them go and wish them well. There are a bazillion writers to choose from - someone for everyone. We can't take it personally. I think if we try to write for everybody, we will make ourselves insane, and lose our own voice in the process.
Yes, absolutely true, Sharron.
Well, you're more understanding than I am because I don't get it. Just don't understand that, but then I don't understand a lot of things these days. Instead of unsubscribing, that story would make me subscribe, if I wasn't already. Have a good rest of the day. - Jim
Seriously?
Stories work best when they get you inside a person's head, rather than just describe what they do. Excellent story!
Thank you Rad. I always appreciate your comments. Glad you liked it. I know some people found it a bit too rough and callous and that's understandable but that's how I picture the mind of a psychopath.
Wow! Crazy good, Jim.
Thanks cowboy! Emphasis on crazy.
Hey Jim, running late here! Just finished the read; didn't EVEN see that coming! Honestly, you put us right in the back seat and I was wondering if I could get the back door unlocked! That was intense, great job! (my wife can handle those dark characters better than I!)
Thanks for sticking with it Ron. Appreciate the comment. Yes, some people liked it and some (3) voted with their feet! Anyway, something lighter on the way, my friend. Thanks again.
Great story, Jim. You did say "dark" in the subtitle but I didn't know just how DARK we could get.
The line at the end about the scar really hit me.
Whoa, that was superb compelling read, Jim. I was just kind of flipping around, flying with the crazy, the repetition, the poetic, not needing to go look for sense because it was right there pounding on my brain pan. You brought the sense of irrationality right up to the front door, all clear eyed and mad, distinct, wild, and then the two melded in an explosion of poison clouds you sprayed so beautifully.
Great job!
Wow, Thanks Victor. "Flying with the crazy." "All clear eyed and mad." Your comments are compelling reading in themselves.
Appreciate your reading and commenting, my friend.
Wow. This was just amazing. What happened to split Bobby and Fagen? Or was Bobby always damaged? This was a superb tale of madness, desolation, and the loss of control. Poor Lucy!
Thank you Liz. I think Bobby was gradually taken over by his alter ego, Fagen and was plotting to end the evil through the course of this story. I truly appreciate your comments.
Superb, Jim. Just superb. Dark and tense, with a build-up from the repetition of lines and a twist that absolutely works.
"We drive. The wasted, western sun has deflated and fallen into the ocean" -- killer line.
Thank you Nathan. I always like it when someone quotes a line that resonated with them. Your comments are very meaningful and much appreciated.
Blimey, Jim. It's frightening to think what goes on in that brain of yours. Masterfully executed. And I know it's done well because although I don't like dark fiction I always read yours. It makes me think. The people in this story reminded me of the sociopaths in In Cold Blood, and to an extent The Clockwork Orange. So, keep up the good work and keep taking the tablets!
Thank you so much, Terry. Just to set your mind at ease, I will tell you that I love puppies and kittens and never kill spiders. I really like your comparison to the brutal sociopathy of In Cold Blood, a story I will never forget, so well told by Truman Capote. I was also going for an a-ha kind of revelation as in Sixth Sense or Fight Club.
Thank you for your comments. I must now take my meds, have my wife barricade the door from the outside and go to bed.
Talking to Bobby in the mirror. That should have tipped me off. But it was the scar. Wait that scar was on Fagan's face; now Bobby sees it on his. Oh yeah. You're teaching me to be a detective, Jim. You plant these clues throughout the story, then bring them together for a horrendous ending. You are a true word craftsman. The repetition of "fast, fast, fast" and the pace of the narrative were effective in conveying the desperation that eventually led to Bobby's demise. This story was worth waiting for.
Thank you, K.C. That is exactly what I was trying for--a revelation where the reader says "wait a minute, I see what's going on here."
Appreciate your kind comments, as always.
And you got me again! Brilliant, Jim!
Thank you, Martine. I bet you weren't fooled for long. I always appreciate you reading and commenting.
Yowsa! Great art in this tale.
Thank you Rebecca, I really appreciate that comment. Sometimes art can be messy.
Dark … brilliant. Compelling, clever.
Wow, thanks Barrie. Not my normal style. I appreciate you reading and your very kind comment.
It’s a real skill to be able to move between styles and to deliver the same high quality. Inspiring.
Thank you Clancy. I appreciate your reading and commenting.
Yeah, lighter stuff on the way!