15 Comments
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Terry Freedman's avatar

I really liked the interposing of their conv6with the birds' actions. The lack of writing progress felt very uncomfortable: there but for the grace of God... I also liked the sense, to my mind, that a vast amount was NOT being said.

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Thank you Terry, I really appreciate your comments. Yes, there is some backstory hinted-at but left to the imagination.

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Justin Deming's avatar

Really loved the story, Jim, especially the dialogue and descriptions. The balance is perfect. You have a way of grounding me in the scene. Excellent stuff!

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Thank you Justin. Means a lot coming from you.

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Victor D. Sandiego's avatar

I enjoyed the way Catherine and Kenneth talked at cross purposes, at least at first, Kenneth reluctant to address the core issue. Then when they do get down to it, the storm that is their lives and the storm that is the physical rain merge to the point where Kenneth's final words represent both. At least that's how I see it. Thanks Jim!

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Yes, exactly right in your interpretation. Thank you for giving the story a thoughtful read and taking the time to make a comment. I appreciate it Victor.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

You have an exquisite voice, Jim. Your writing is always stylish and lean, your topics unusually fresh and completely devoid of clichés. You take time to get it right, and it shows. In my opinion, you are a writer apart from the rest of us scribblers. And I am not kidding. I am re-stacking this little beauty

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Thank you Sharron. I appreciate your support more than you know.

Let's both keep scribbling and see what happens.

Looking forward to your post tomorrow!

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just mud by Ron's avatar

Hey Jim, saved reading your piece till this am. You work our imaginations with your details; and then you bring in conversations. Echo Sharron and respect here!

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Thanks jm. I really appreciate the comments. Looking forward to your next post. Keep going man!

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just mud by Ron's avatar

Will do!

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James Ron's avatar

I like how you weaved together the beach and the sailboats and Kenneth and Catherine's sometimes divided conversation. Another nice one, Jim.

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Thanks James. I always appreciate your comments. BTW, I really enjoyed reading your posts today. Well done my friend>

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K.C. Knouse's avatar

Jim, this reminds me of Hemingway's story "Hills Like White Elephants" where what is unsaid drives the narrative. Excellent job of execution on this on.

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Nov 7, 2023
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Jim Cummings's avatar

Thank you Mitch. I appreciate that you equated the fighting gulls with the brazen footballers. I wasn't sure that the metaphor worked. Most of all, thanks for digging into the archives!

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